I Don’t Typically Do This

by Martin Gordon

I'm Great

sharingtime:

If you reblog something I write: Yeah, you think I’m great. You’re great for thinking I’m great.

If you “like” something I write: Yeah, you think I’m great. You’re ok for thinking I’m great.

If you reblog something I found online: Yeah, you think my taste is great. I’m a tastemaker. You worship my skills at copy/pasting.

If you “like” something I found online: Whatever.

If you ignore something I write: Hmm. Maybe you didn’t read it. No, you definitely read it, it’s been up for like 10 minutes. What the fuck is your problem? Why would you ignore me?! I need to be validated for every thought I have. Pat me on the head! Give me a cookie! A gold star! You’re dumb anyway.