I Don’t Typically Do This

by Martin Gordon

“What is a pedant?”


Just a Little Public Service Announcement For You

One great thing about having no friends as a kid was reading every Star Wars novelization I could get my hands on.  In Star Wars lore, the Kessel Run was a route that intergalactic smugglers would use to move illegal spice without getting caught by Imperial ships, and it was super dangerous because of all these asteroids and shit.  Pilots would crash into them and/or get sucked into black holes.  When Han Solo boasted that the Falcon made the Kessel Run in under “12 parsecs,” he wasn’t making a mistake by confusing time and distance.  He was talking about how he took the shortest route, which was impressive because of the Maw Black Hole cluster.  In other words, Solo flew as close as possible without getting sucked into a black hole.  The Kessel Run, ordinarily “made” at 18 parsecs, was thus ripped a new one by the Millennium Falcon.  In moving closer to the cluster, he brought down the distance to 11.5 parsecs.  Thus, his defense of his beloved ship.  

George Lucas himself explains (courtesy of Wikipedia) that traveling through hyperspace requires careful navigation to avoid stars, planets, asteroids, and other obstacles, and that since no long-distance journey can be made in a straight line, the “fastest” ship is the one that can plot the “most direct course.” 

Alternatively, Brainland once used the word “pedant” in class and a fellow student asked, “What is a pedant?”  The teacher, before young Brainland could answer, replied, “Someone who only knows the definitions of things.”